Wait a minute. I thought you said you wanted to hit the local crag today with the little ones? Oh, so you don’t want to go on a hike? You’d rather hang inside? But I thought the Patagonia vest, Kavu pants and Subaru indicated you were down for a toddler-in-tow bouldering sessions I’m confused. When you said you’d like to go climbing sometime you meant never?

Why is it so difficult to find other parents that are excited to take their toddlers on outdoor adventures? Does the hassle outweigh the time spent climbing or hiking so much that you’ll wait years till he’s old enough to do it on his own? Apparently, it is. Finding a willing parent is much harder than I ever thought it would be. I don’t live in a particularily lazy town, so when Baby C was no longer just a thought, I was certain there would be plenty of families out there who continue to pursue their outdoor adventures post baby. Again, I was wrong. Okay okay, I’m sure you’re out there. Maybe we’ve even seen each other at the grocery store? Maybe, that woman I thought was giving me a strange look while I let Baby C stand on the grocery cart seat was really just attempting to communicate her desire to go climbing with her toddler too telepathically!

When I do meet a climber parent their initial reaction to a family climbing trip is “My wife can stay home with the kids.” Bah! In my book, that’s just not how it works. You had a kid, planned or unplanned, and now they’re a part of your life. Your WHOLE life. Of course that doesn’t mean if you’re attempting a summit to Mt. Rainier that you bring them along. As a courtesy to your partner and your child, take them with you. And wear a damn smile on your face! Not only will it help to develop a love for the outdoors for your child, but also, your entire family gets to share in the experience. Resentment need not apply. He’s too heavy? You only got three routes in today? Boo-stinking-hoo. In a couple of years you’ll be back ticking off one route after the other and bagging peaks left and right. But in those couple short years with your toddler in the backcountry, you will have given him something that will last a lifetime. When he’s fifteen, he’ll look through pictures of toddler climbing trips and think (even if he won’t admit it), “dang homie, my parents were awesome.” I could go on and on about the importance of taking your kids outside (better physical, emotional, mental health – stewardship – imagaination -etc.), but I won’t.

This is a personal ad to all of your lovely climber parents:

Family seeking other awesome family who likes to spank crags and not kids

We enjoy bringing our toddler climbing, backpacking and skiing. We don’t take breaks on hikes, but instead just slow down to the pace of molasses. If you need to stop, we won’t judge, we’ll just hope you catch up. Our child determines our schedule and we respect his limitations. If it’s time to go, it’s time to go. We’re looking for a like minded family who loves bringing their kid climbing or hiking. Parents who are down for all sorts of adventures and mean it when they say it. Seeking family who let’s their kid get absolutely filthy. Seeking parents who aren’t afraid to get out there and keep pursuing the activities they love!

Signed,

F.A.M.I.L.Y

(family adventures make intelligent little yougens)

Washington’s Better

Mountain ranges, coastlines, climate and people; all of these things define the place you live. There isn’t much that tops a regions geography when determining a place I’ll be happy in. If there are no mountains and no granite, I’m out. For some people, if there isn’t a rugged coastline or warm beaches, they’re out. Different strokes for different folks. However, I will argue that Washington State is one of the best places to live in all of the United States and I’ll give you five compelling reasons why:

1. Geography. There is a geographical hotspot for nearly every outdoor enthusiast. Too the east are deserts with tons of early climbing spots, to the north are rugged mountains for skiing, to the west are coastlines for surfing and to the south are rivers for kayaking. More importantly, there are two massive mountain ranges that offer excellent peaks to summit for all skill levels. The Cascades and the Olympics are home to beautiful old growth forests, rain forests, alpine meadows and excellent alpine climbing. We’ve got all of our bases covered.

2. Climate.  True, it rains a lot here. However, this solely depends on what part of the state you live in. If you live anywhere near Seattle or Olympia, you will mold. Fortunately, drive two hours east and Bam! The sun is beaming on your pastey skin and you have a chance to revitalize your vitamin d deficiency. Besides, this state wouldn’t be as beautiful as it is without out all of that water.

3. People. Bottom line, people are laid back here. Sure, there is sometimes an overwhelming amount of passive aggressiveness, but if you can’t handle it, just be straight up with people and they’ll get real with you. If not, retreat to the mountains and do what you do.

4. Outdoor enthusiasts. While there are many posers out there, there’s equally true outdoorspeople. Washintonians are excited about and protective of their beloved outdoor sports. So, don’t come between one of them and a summit because they’ll shank you with a trekking pole.

5. Because your state isn’t good enough. Ever heard the statement “it’s not you, it’s me,” well they lied, it is you. By you, I mean, your state. Don’t get me wrong, there are couple states that rival Washington. It’s just, where else can you get such a wonderful cocktail of awesomeness?

If I haven’t you convinced that Washington is the best, it’s probably because you’re just not ready for the truth. You can’t handle the truth! Or mabye it’s because you prefer your stinky, drab and so ten years ago state. For my favorite places in Washington, check out Places to Go!

Smith Rock Classic: Spiderman Buttress

No denying that Smith Rock is a very special place. Whether you’re there to get spanked by its stiff routes or hang on some softer classics, you’re in for a real treat. All climbers must go to Smith Rock to be humbled. As you walk through the canyon, you hear the echoing of grunts and screams from full grown men and women as they fall to their last piece. Shades of yellow, brown, red, orange and pink paint the rock walls. In early October, the sun can still leave you heat stroked and desperate for a tree, but you won’t find shade unless you retreat to the trail. Smith is truly a magical place for climbers.

My husband and I have been to Smith countless times. Each trip has led us to different quests and different routes. The most memorable of trips was the day we climbed a very popular, but nonetheless classic route, Spiderman Buttress. I don’t care what the too-cool-for-5.7’s climbers say, this route is fan-freakin-tastic!

To get there, you have to climb over Asterisk Pass onto the back side of Smith. This side is great because on a clear day you can see Three Sisters, Mt. Adams, and Mt. Jefferson among many other peaks. If you’re lucky there won’t be twelve groups of climbers waiting at the bottom. The belay area is practically a four star hotel, so you can relax and enjoy the dry sauna. I know, I know, you’re still hung up on the fact that it’s rated so low. You’ll forget about all of that once you’re on the second pitch because you’ll have a shit eating grin on your face from all the fun you’re having. The first pitch is probably the most difficult but nothing you can’t handle. The second pitch has everything! Exposure, smooth moves and a roof! Roofs are so fun! This one is particularily awesome, so don’t be scurrred! The last pitch is an easy jaunt up and tada! Have a seat and watch the climbers on Monkey Face as they slowly and painfully move up their 5.14C.

Here’s the thing, don’t be a party pooper. Chasing grades is all fine and well, but if you get caught up in your own ego’s master plan of achieving epicness, you’ll miss out on a huge part of climbing. There’s a time and place to dominate a route and “tick” off all of those 5.12’s so you can tell your bros at the gym how yolked you are. Just don’t forget, climbing is about having fun too. Besides, you can do the softer grades and say “I soloed that barefoot.”

The Memo You Didn’t Get

Breaking news! When you have a child, everything will change. Climbing, skiing, mountaineering, backpacking and hiking; all of those things you love so much will be put on hold. Obviously my husband and I did not get the memo that reads as follows:

“Dear expecting parents,

Awe, that’s sweet, you decided to make a baby. Good for you! You know what’s even sweeter? You think you’ll be doing all of the fun things you love so dearly within a few weeks. Sure, sure, drop baby off at grandmas while you hit the slopes. Life as you know it will stay pretty much the same, just with a sweet little angel floating around you. WRONG. I am here to inform you that everything will be different and for the first few months it will be hard as hell and even though it’s the peak of climbing season, you’re done. Oh, and forget about all those other fun things you like to do and your relationship. That is all.

Sincerely,

The people with the memo that you never got”

Before you start questioning the love we have for our child, hear me out. Let’s just start from the understanding that we love Baby C more and more every day. Our hearts feel like they could explode they’re so full. That said, I’d like to confront society for not explaining well enough how difficult the adjustment from single to parent life is. There are no books that tell you about the things my husband and I went through. Sure, sleeping, breast feeding, etc., that’s all difficult too, but I’m not talking about the physical aspects of parenting. I’m talking straight up emotional funeral; the severe sense of mourning your old life. Not in a regretful way, but in a surprised this all happened this way but we thought it would happen that way. You don’t realize how much time you have to yourself until you don’t have it anymore. At a moments notice we’d grab our rope bag and head off to the mountains. That’s just not possible anymore. That freedom is gone, for now at least. It’s no longer just the two of you and if you’re lucky enough to have a partner that’s also your best friend, this is devastating on its own. While a baby enriches your life and gives you such a humbling perspective, theres also the understanding that your wife is not just yours anymore. She’s his too and you have to share, oh and the sharing is 80/20 baby dominates. I don’t think most people want to admit these things in fear of being perceived as a bad parent. Let me tell you right now, you’re not. These feelings are valid and while you may feel sad about it sometimes, as you sink into the mold of being a parent, everything gets easier. Soon you won’t remember a time before your baby came into the picture. You’ll only know carrying an extra twenty five pounds on a backpacking trip or walking away from finishing a boulder project without a second thought because baby needs you. Eventually, it all feels normal again, I promise. If you find yourself feeling down, simply explain to your baby the importance of excellent crevasse rescue skills and poof! You’ll instantly feel better. By the time Baby C is three, I swear he’ll know the in’s and out’s of three pulley system just as well as he knows Elmo’s Song.
Consider this that memo I never got.

Put Your Kid In A Backpack

It’s not easy hauling a baby in a backpack for ten miles, or skiing down a mountain with a six month old straddled to your back. Shit, nothing about having a baby is easy. When my husband and I first found out about our son, we thought “this little creature can’t stop us, we’ll be summiting mountains just a few short months after he’s born!” Ha. Ha. Ha. It’s been nearly two years since our sweet, defenseless, and extremely precious son has entered the world and boy were we wrong. Im not talking, “whoops , I thought you said ‘squash the midgets’ not ‘wash the dishes,'”more like, donkey punch to the face wrong (My husband says that means something sexual but I much prefer an actual donkey punching you in the face with his hooves). Our worlds have turned upside down and while we begged for mercy in the first year (also known as the year of unrelenting sleep deprivation), we have evolved into “those people with the baby.” It’s true, we leave a pile of food smashed on the floor at restaurants, I whip out my boobs in public, and we’re always late, ALWAYS. The only difference between us, and the other baggy eyed servants swimming in a pile of regurgitated food at the restaurant, is our nagging desire to go on an adventure.

Going to the grocery store is a big deal with your child. I’d go so far as to call it an “outing.” Going on a ten mile backpacking trip or rock climbing in leavenworth (you’ll hear a lot about this place in future posts) is a huge deal. It goes beyond “outing” status and into “serious shit” mode. Things to consider before talking your baby/toddler into the great outdoors:

– Who’s going to carry the seemingly weightless feather and how?

– Who’s  going to carry all of the other crap, such as; diapers, wipes, food, extra clothing, lovey bear, favorite book, water bottle, sound machine, crib, bouncy chair, coloring book, etc.

– Naps. Are you a victim to your child’s nap schedule? Don’t you dare mess it up! Keep with the schedule or there will be hell to pay!

-How much energy do you want to exert because you won’t be sleeping for longer than two hours at a time when you get home because someone is still waking you up to play at 11, 1, 3 AM

-Your baby will gets filthy and there’s nothing you can do about it

There are so many considerations before you walk out the door. No more, “Let’s go for a quick trip to the Exits! Grab the harnesses and let’s go!” Yet, we still pursue our hobbies. I have to warn you, being adventurous with your baby doesn’t just entail preparation, it also confronts a whole other set of issues that my husband and I had not anticipated…

Haters. They are everywhere. You can identify them by the following attributes: stink eye, horizontal head shaking with duck lips puckered, incoherent whispers, and if it’s a woman, she’s typically got on a pair of Jordashe jeans, venti cookies and cream starbucks cup and her kid on a leash. But really, haters are all around you. They will be judging and they will be ready to share their opinion with you, given the right moment. On our second climbing trip for the season, my son was one month old. There were three of us so that one person could be with Baby C at all times. The landings were flat and climbing was easy. It was the perfect climbing trip to bring our little rug rat too. Of course someone just had to whisper in a non whispering voice “why the hell would you bring your new baby out here?” Instinctually, I wanted to ripoff my clothes, roll around in mud, carve a spear out of a tree limb and pounce on the man as if he were the last piece of meat before winter. For those of you who know me, don’t worry, I didn’t.  You see, he was a hater. It is inevitable you will come across them, but it’s up to you to remember that whatever judgements they project onto you, it’s their own shit. It’s not about you and if you take it too seriously, you lose. So chill out, smell the evergreens  and do some extra squats because that weightless feather really feels like a big fat sack of blubber on your back.