Leavenworth

Bouldering in Pink Aquasocks

Apparently it’s frowned upon to tether your baby to a tree, while you and your husband climb a couple of quick sport routes? Even IF he’s on a crash pad, and is obviously very content to be eating a little dirt and chalk, it’s just not okay. If Baby C began to cry, one of us would simply unhook from the rope and console him. Oh, the climber? They’d just have to sit tight and hope for big jugs to hold onto.

In our last trip for 2013 climbing season, we went to our beloved Leavenworth. If you don’t know about this place, don’t go there, it’s awful. Totally sucks. I’d rather watch five hundred Youtube videos on tips for Microsoft Excell. Just kidding, it’s our favorite place in the whole wide world! Not only is it home to one of the best authentic German bakery’s, it’s also home to world class climbing. Coincidence? I think not! Hidden in the Cascade mountains is a real gem. Nestled below one of the most beautiful sub ranges, the Enchantments, Leavenworth offers not only awesome views, but an array of sticky slab, fun bouldering and stiff ratings that are matched with even stiffer routes. Bring your crash pad and trad rack. If you have more time and no kid, then check out some alpine climbs (popular classics located in Beckey’s books). What happened? I got sidetracked. Oh yeah, Leavenworth blows, don’t go.

We didn’t end up tying any babies to trees. Instead, we opted to do a little bouldering at Barney’s Rubble, Swiftwater and Mad Meadows. All three spots offer excellent varieties of ratings, which was great because once you make the switch from bouldering to sport, those softer routes are gentler on the ego. It’s always surprising to see people’s reactions when they notice a baby hanging out on a crash pad. At Mad Meadows, we were greeted over and over again by welcoming climbers who were stoked to see a baby at the crag. I think this one of the only places you will find a group of twenty something’s men, ask to hold a baby. This does not happen in day to day life, test it! I won’t lie, taking your baby bouldering is no picnic. You have to be extremely conscious of where he is at all times. Rocks and other obstacles are on your radar as well as that 6’2 lanky climber who just missed his heal hook and is now falling right next to your baby. Fortunately, on this trip, we managed to keep Baby C unsmooshed. After a day of climbing, we went back to the campsite and made a giant bowl of food. Side note: ever notice while camping, food tastes more amazing than anything you’ve ever had in your life.

Day two, we headed for a short hike up to Eight Mile Lake. Nevermind that it was 90 degrees. The hike is very easy and a nice distance when playing donkey to your twenty pound love child. We arrived at the first little lake before the actual Eight Mile lake and let Baby C roll around in the mud. The finL destination was a refreshing payoff with awesome mountain views. This is a great hike for families. It’s steep enough to cause your children anguish and you’ll probably hear a lot of whining, but not so steep that they will give up all together. All in all, the last trip of the season was very satisfying.

The take home: take your baby outside! Take your baby bouldering if it’s just you and one other person or sport climb if there’s a babysitter at the crag. Please, I beg of you. If you had a kid, and you think your climbing days are over, they aren’t! It’s just different, but think about how awesome they’ll think you are when they’re fifteen…or maybe twenty. Or maybe they’ll have a lot of resentment because instead of letting them play video games, you took them rock climbing? Don’t worry, you’ll have that covered because you’ll have already saved up for a college/and-or/ therapy fund!

Lastly, I discovered something absolutely hilarious on this trip. If you put pink shoes on a baby, it’s automatically a girl. Baby C grew out of his shoes in exactly 24 hours, so we our only option was a pair of bright pink aquasocks at a convenient store. Just seconds before slipping on those gender determining articles, Baby C was “a handsome boy” as one retail associate said. I know I shouldn’t be surprised because I myself cannot pick the gender of a baby under the age of two unless they have distinguishing clothing. Who cares anyways, they are all adorable, amazing creatures who don’t care what box we out them in.

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38 Weeks and 600 Feet

Whale in a harness
Thirty eight weeks pregnant and I thought “Let’s climb R&D!” It’s a classic Leavenworth slab route with easy to moderate climbing ranging from 5.5 to 5.7 on the ever popular Mountaineer’s Domb. It’s four pitches and 600 vertical feet of solid climbing. It was the last climbing trip my husband and I would have by ourselves.

So there I was, in my five point harness and my humongous body, resting at the bottom of the wall, looking up, wondering if this was a good idea? Really, my husband and our other climbing partner were more concerned that I would go into labor half way up the route. Honestly, how cool would that be? Three hundred feet up, screaming bloody murder and bam! Baby C falls out of me, only to be hanging on by the umbilical┬ácord! Come on! Talk about EPIC. Believe it or not, climbing at 38 weeks pregnant is difficult. Not only do you weigh an extra 30-40 pounds, but you’re carrying it mostly in your stomach, so balance is completely off and not to mention, lifting your tub of lard up a vertical wall is extremely taxing! Who knew?

Up the buttress we went! The first pitch is mostly made up of low fifth class climbing, but pleasant all the same. For a second, I thought everything would be a piece of cake. I moved slowly up the rock, onto the second belay station to greet my hyperventilating husband. He was overjoyed there was no baby hanging out of me but before we could rejoice, we looked above and grimaced. A chimney. Oh god, not a chimney. For those of you non climbers, a chimney is a rock cleft with parallel sides just big enough to fit the climber in. The climber uses opposite pressure with their entire body to shimmy up the structure. Normally, this is a fun feature because you can use nearly any part of your body to get up it. However, when there is a giant yoga ball attached to your middle, a chimney is a cause for concern. Think about Violet from Willy Wonka in the Chocolate Factory getting lodged in a chimney. I was sure I would burst and amniotic fluid would shoot out of me given the right amount of pressure. Essentially, I would be juiced. my husband went first, reached the belay station and nervously waited to see my head pop up from below. No amount of “think skinny” will help you here ladies. Squeezing and grunting, and with a pull here and squish there, I was out! All fluids retained! Now all that remained was a couple of fist jams in a hand crack and lie back flake…

The last pitch was an easy jaunt up slab. Upon reaching the top I was greeted with a creepily long hug (even for my husband). It was a hug that said “we will never do that again.” Once our partner Dave reached the top, we concluded this route was an excellent 38 weeks pregnant route with tons of great features from chimneys, to handcracks and lie back flakes. Classic!

The scramble down was more painful than the entire climb. Had I been in a non-incubator form, it would’ve been much more manageable. Once we reached the bottom, we packed the gear up and headed back to our campsite for some delicious wood stained chicken…that’s another story.

Hindsight, would I have done it again? Abso-friggin-lutely! How can I risk the life of my unborn child like that? I could’ve DIED! Baby killer! No really, I would do it again and I would encourage any healthy, strong and conscious mother to be, to continue doing what you do and love. Sure, there was an added fear, but at no point did I feel unsafe. Had I felt my child’s life was at risk at any moment, there would be no question as to stopping. I was and still am confident in my capabilities and risk assessment, so need to bring out the shame police!